(Psst. This blog post is also a podcast episode on Level Up! With Shay. You can listen here.)
It’s the end of a year again. Saying goodbye to 2021 and hello to 2022. Admittedly, I used to be the type of person to not reflect on the year. I was so excited to get into the next year that I would think, ‘yeah, yeah I learned some stuff, I grew, let’s start planning for the next year!’. I always found myself going. Going. And going. And eventually, burnout. Or giving up. I was so busy trying to make progress, that I wasn’t even aware of the progress I was making. So I always thought I was behind and so I worked more. It was a vicious cycle.
But this year…this year is different. New year, new me! I decided this year to sit down and do some reflection. I must say, this was after seeing so many signs, getting so many emails, really forcing me to sit down and reflect. And it was worth it. I asked myself three questions given to me by Marie Forleo, an amazing, extremely talented and successful woman, and those were “What am I most proud of from this past year? What mistakes did I make that taught me something? What lessons did I learn that I can leverage? And what am I willing to let go of this next year?”
So, this week, I’m going to share my answers to these questions with you. Maybe you’ll answer them for yourself as well. And then I have one more important message I want to share with you at the end to wrap it all up.
So, the first question – What did I do, create, or experience this year that I’m really proud of?
I’m so glad I took time to answer these reflection questions because I would have completely swept over the fact that I did stand-up comedy for the first time ever this year. If you would’ve asked me even a year and a half ago if I’d ever do stand-up I’d probably say no. I’d say it wasn’t my thing, it’s too scary, I don’t need to do that to be a comedian, I’d be ok dying and not doing it. Obviously that wasn’t the case.
And yes, stand up comedy is scary and it can be hard to make people laugh, so it may not be a big deal that I did it, but it wasn’t even the stand up comedy part that made such a huge impact on my life. It was the lessons I learned from it.
- I learned that I can do things that I never thought I would do before. I can face the fear and do it anyway.
- I learned that sometimes jokes KILL and sometimes the silence is so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Either way, the joke needs to be told. Especially if you’re in practice mode!
- I learned that for the MOST part, people are cheering you on. People WANT to laugh and enjoy the time they have with you.
- And I learned that when you start to shine a light on the dark places you want to keep quiet and away from the world, those parts start to heal.
I used to be the person to say “No I wouldn’t do stand up comedy! That’s so scary! All by yourself up there telling your jokes, letting yourself be judged in front of a bunch of people!” But now that I’ve done it, I can be on the other side and say “Yes! It’s STILL scary! But what keeps me doing it is knowing that I can face the scary stuff.”
The second question – What mistakes did I make that taught me something? What lessons did I learn that I can leverage?
One mistake I made was not standing up for myself soon enough. I was met with awkward situations where I didn’t feel myself or speak up and I let that go on for much longer than it needed to. I was scared of the repercussions, what might happen if I speak up? What might happen if I say how I feel?
Another mistake I think I made was taking advantage of my time. This also goes along with standing up for myself. Making decisions in real time is much more helpful in moving forward than contemplating decisions over and over again. Making the decision to speak up, making the decision to rest (instead of spending 45 minutes scrolling on the phone deciding if you should take a walk or not), making the decision to stick to a plan instead of convincing yourself whether it’s a good plan or not. You don’t know if a plan is any good or not if you don’t even attempt to execute it.
So out of all those mistakes, what did they teach me?
They taught me to make decisions quicker and to trust myself with my decisions. They taught me to stick to the boundaries I hold for myself and for other people. And there is no one in the world who is worth sticking next to if they continue to overstep your boundaries. These mistakes taught me to be honest with myself. At the end of every day can I say that I was disciplined? That I did everything I needed to do and had time for? With that, I was also taught to give myself grace. Sometimes, life happens, we get tired, projects take longer than expected, events get rescheduled or pushed off. We have to know when to give ourselves that space and remind ourselves that we’re doing the best we can.
One lesson that I can leverage for the new year is to focus on what I can control. I remember throughout the year getting triggered by things that certain people would say to me that probably wasn’t intentionally to hurt or stir something up within me. After speaking with my therapist, I was able to see the cycle of thoughts that were going through my head everytime I would be triggered. When I noticed them, I replaced them with something else. Usually gratitude or I focused on something else. I realized that no matter what anyone else did or said to me, I was able to control my response, my thoughts, and eventually, my emotions. Focus on how YOU feel!
The third question – What am I willing to let go of this next year?
This year, I will intend to let go of any doubts regarding my capabilities and my creativity to create the life I want. There is NO reason for doubts. Wikipedia says Doubt is a mental state in which the mind remains suspended between two or more contradictory propositions, unable to be certain of any of them. Doubt on an emotional level is indecision between belief and disbelief. So, if you understand the concept that you can manage your thoughts – see what thoughts are going on and change them if they aren’t for your good – then you know you can either choose belief or disbelief.
The more and more I read, watch, and learn about our purpose and what we’re supposed to be doing in life, the more I am of the belief that we decide what our purpose is. As humans, we can do A LOT with our lives – there are so many options! But we get stuck because we doubt that this thing I chose was the good option. Maybe we should be doing something else to fulfill our purpose. What if you just took that big dream you have in your head of the life you want to live, something that you would enjoy and that would fulfill you, and you choose THAT. No doubts, no plan B, You are CERTAIN that the path you are taking is the right one. Focus on what feels good when you do it and then let go of the doubt that comes up.
So those are the answers to those three questions for me. What about you? Are you going to answer those three questions for yourself too? Let me know in the comments!
The last part I want to leave you with goes along with reflection of the year and that is just this reminder – look how far you’ve come.
If you are thriving right now, remember the times you weren’t thriving? The times that were hard and a grind, probably filled with unhappiness, depression, fear. Look at where you’re at now! You’re stronger and more capable now.
And if you’re having a hard time right now, remember this, you’ve been through hard times before. Think back on your life and remember those hard times that you never thought were going to end. They did. And these hard times will end for you too. There are better days ahead. Look how far you’ve come. You’re still here, your heart is still beating, you still have your breath, you are here for a reason.
Wherever you’re at in this season of your life, be proud of yourself. You still have a chance at life. The opportunity of a new day, a new year, awaits you. And the new day doesn’t care if you didn’t work out today or didn’t meditate or didn’t do that thing you said you were going to do. The opportunity you have for tomorrow is a clean slate for you to be who you want to be. The past is gone. You don’t owe the past ANYTHING.
Use this time to forgive yourself for the past and love yourself in order to positively and intentionally create what’s to come.
And I’ll leave you with this quote by author Anita Moorjani “Start each day with a clean slate, leaving behind the emotions of yesterday.”
I’m so excited for 2022. And I’m so excited that you’re here with me. Share what you’re excited about in 2022 in the comments!
Thanks for reading!
This blog post is also a podcast episode on Level Up! With Shay. You can listen here.
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